Mare's Injury Feelings

The below is taken and slightly edited from the description of one of my videos, but I think it fits.

So this video is one of my favorites, and also means a ton to me.

My horse injured her self and is out for probably 6 months. At the least, there's a good chance it will be more, especially if you count all the time we will spend getting her back into some sort of shape through lots and lots of walking. At first I was just super angry and super sad. Angry at myself, angry at the world, and maybe even slightly angry at her. And sad, well, I just could not wrap my head around it all, felt so bad for my horse, and honestly, myself too, even though that sounds so self centered. This was literally days before our first show, which I had been counting down to for literally weeks. And a couple weeks before Christmas.

Then after a couple days I started calming down a bit, doing some research on treatments and stuff. Of course then I discovered some horses don't recover from this. They never jump again. Of course that put me in a slump. And I started making this video. Although I have since found out that most horses actually do return to some sort of work. maybe. This video has a lot of my feelings in it and I think helped me accept her injury, and decide to take it as a learning experience. Helped me decide that no matter what, she will always be special to me, always mean something to me, and I'm never letting go of her. She is the light in my life. Even when I was upset because of her, it was to her stall and her sweet face that I would go to for comfort. So this video is super special to me, including almost every single clip, and I actually think it is one of the best I have ever made. I won't go and explain all the meaning, but I love this video so much.

What a day...

So there's this boy...I'm not gonna write about that right now, but there is...

It was a good Friday, even though I had a test in every class. I think I did decent, AKA not bad, but not good enough. Some how though, I didn't care. I would rather have fun then study for the extra 2 hours so I can get an A. Some how a B + 2 more hours free time seems good enough. I mean, if I was to die tomorrow, I don't want to have studied that extra two hours and then not take the test. I'm not saying I don't enjoy school and I don't like learning. I LOVE LEARNING! I just don't like tests. I'm working on it though. I know I need to get better grades this quarter and I will. The first quarter for me is always the worst. I just have to learn how hard I really have to work for an A. Well, except for French. French I am just bad at. I've been trying my hardest and working my butt off at it since day 1, and it is still my lowest grade, and it is a bad grade too. I just can't do it. It's the same grade from last year. UGH. I really do try!!

But it was still a good day. 8th period was pretty amazing. Especially b-block....

Have I mentioned that I love my pony. She was so good today. We did all sorts of flat work with poles. Canter poles, trot poles (3), trot poles with standards (2), raised trot poles. She just took it all in stride (haha get it. In stride. okay, its over. sorry 'bout that. I've eaten too much candy.) Aww but so sweet. And we were practicing our sitting trot and she was like umm...what are you doing? And you could just tell she was thinking about it and then she figure it out and relaxed with it!! What a smart girl. I also figured something out. Her biggest problem with the sitting trot is my hands tend to move a lot, which she hates. So I've found that if I raise my hands a little higher and focus on carrying them more, they stay stiller and Lolli goes better. She is so cute. I love her. Don't know what I would do with out her.

Good day

What amazing friends I have. I could never ask for anything better. They all made my day today whether they know it or not. I love them all. So many presents and baked goods. But really it was the smiles and cards that went along with it that made my day. All the cards are now tacked on my wall so the next time I need to know someone cares for me they are there for me to see.

I also love my FH team. Everyone on the team is extremely nice. Playing the team we played tonight (who we beat to go undefeated in the district! Whoot!) made me realize how special and tight are team really is. They were yelling and cursing at each other, and just playing really poorly and getting angry at everyone, including us and their teammate when we would do nothing wrong. Our team is so much better then that. And I think I realized just how special we are. And I think this that someone said pretty much sums it up

"This is a special group of girls. You couldn't ask for anything better."

Other happenings in the game include getting hit hard in the hand about 30 seconds after I went in. It immediately started swelling up and I had a little cut. After the game I was showing it to the team and Coach H comes over and shows Coach D, they send me over to the trainer to get ice. Everyone was so worried, especially P. She sends me back with out a band-aide (it was bleeding pretty bad). On the way back everyone on the team starts singing to me. When Coach H sees I don't have a band-aide she marches on over to get me a band-aide and comes back and helps me put it on. Meanwhile, Coach D is telling me to make sure I ice it real well. I love my team. And it's good to know they care if I get injured.

My parents and brother all went to the game too. Thanks for coming guys, I really appreciate it even if I don't fully show it.

Thanks to my friends(teammates included) and family for letting me have a very special day.

A perfect summer...

What an amazing summer. Spending half days at the barn with my best friend, scattered with meetings of other friends through out. Busy enough, but no overwhelming. Then making the varsity field hockey team. I'm not sure I could ask for more and not feel greedy.

I'll finish this alter mabybe.