Mare's Injury Feelings

The below is taken and slightly edited from the description of one of my videos, but I think it fits.

So this video is one of my favorites, and also means a ton to me.

My horse injured her self and is out for probably 6 months. At the least, there's a good chance it will be more, especially if you count all the time we will spend getting her back into some sort of shape through lots and lots of walking. At first I was just super angry and super sad. Angry at myself, angry at the world, and maybe even slightly angry at her. And sad, well, I just could not wrap my head around it all, felt so bad for my horse, and honestly, myself too, even though that sounds so self centered. This was literally days before our first show, which I had been counting down to for literally weeks. And a couple weeks before Christmas.

Then after a couple days I started calming down a bit, doing some research on treatments and stuff. Of course then I discovered some horses don't recover from this. They never jump again. Of course that put me in a slump. And I started making this video. Although I have since found out that most horses actually do return to some sort of work. maybe. This video has a lot of my feelings in it and I think helped me accept her injury, and decide to take it as a learning experience. Helped me decide that no matter what, she will always be special to me, always mean something to me, and I'm never letting go of her. She is the light in my life. Even when I was upset because of her, it was to her stall and her sweet face that I would go to for comfort. So this video is super special to me, including almost every single clip, and I actually think it is one of the best I have ever made. I won't go and explain all the meaning, but I love this video so much.

Not trying to give attitude

So apparently I'm giving my parents "attitude". And maybe I am, I admit. But i'm really not trying to. I'm just not sure they understand how worried I am about my mare. I can't stop thinking about her and I want her to get completely better so bad. I'm just so worried about her that when they say I can't go to the barn to give her the meds she is supposed to get I get really uptight. All I can think about is that she might not get her meds, or her creme, and definitely won't get her legs rewrapped, and might not get her stall cleaned. UGH! I just want her to get better! I'm trying really hard, and its so close to Christmas, but I'm so worried. And also today I went to the doctor because my knee is still bothering me and I will probably have to get surgery, either now, or possibly during the season, or not at all. And that scared the heck out of me too. I just don't know. I'm sorry Mom and Dad.

Ground work...my new favorite activity?

So since Lolli's been having some minor leading problems, and also loading problems yesterday, I decided to just do groundwork today. And it was possibly one of the best days I've had with her in a long time. It was just so relaxing. We weren't trying to rush into something. We weren't doing something that involved a lot of focus, but we could just enjoy each others company. And from start to finish I definitely felt like I knew her more and we trusted and understood each other more. Not that we don't other days, just this was so...so....refreshing. Hopefully now we will have solved some of those problems, but even if we didn't it was an awesome lesson. I guess somedays you have to step back, look at what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, and take an easy day. Focus on a short term goal. You don't always have to be taking giant leaps towards the long term. Slow down and just enjoy the time you have now.

What a day...

So there's this boy...I'm not gonna write about that right now, but there is...

It was a good Friday, even though I had a test in every class. I think I did decent, AKA not bad, but not good enough. Some how though, I didn't care. I would rather have fun then study for the extra 2 hours so I can get an A. Some how a B + 2 more hours free time seems good enough. I mean, if I was to die tomorrow, I don't want to have studied that extra two hours and then not take the test. I'm not saying I don't enjoy school and I don't like learning. I LOVE LEARNING! I just don't like tests. I'm working on it though. I know I need to get better grades this quarter and I will. The first quarter for me is always the worst. I just have to learn how hard I really have to work for an A. Well, except for French. French I am just bad at. I've been trying my hardest and working my butt off at it since day 1, and it is still my lowest grade, and it is a bad grade too. I just can't do it. It's the same grade from last year. UGH. I really do try!!

But it was still a good day. 8th period was pretty amazing. Especially b-block....

Have I mentioned that I love my pony. She was so good today. We did all sorts of flat work with poles. Canter poles, trot poles (3), trot poles with standards (2), raised trot poles. She just took it all in stride (haha get it. In stride. okay, its over. sorry 'bout that. I've eaten too much candy.) Aww but so sweet. And we were practicing our sitting trot and she was like umm...what are you doing? And you could just tell she was thinking about it and then she figure it out and relaxed with it!! What a smart girl. I also figured something out. Her biggest problem with the sitting trot is my hands tend to move a lot, which she hates. So I've found that if I raise my hands a little higher and focus on carrying them more, they stay stiller and Lolli goes better. She is so cute. I love her. Don't know what I would do with out her.

A perfect summer...

What an amazing summer. Spending half days at the barn with my best friend, scattered with meetings of other friends through out. Busy enough, but no overwhelming. Then making the varsity field hockey team. I'm not sure I could ask for more and not feel greedy.

I'll finish this alter mabybe.