My Chance to be 5

I love halloween. I love hanging out with friends, acting like 5 year olds, eating candy, trading candy, seeing everyone's costume. It really just makes me very happy. Then the next day comes the insanity of nanowrimo. And this weekend it just happens to be a four day weekend!

This year is probably my last year trick-or-treating though :( I'm getting too old for some people's liking I'm sure. We'll see though I wasn't planning on going this year, but I did. The three of us dressed up as Pooh Bear, Piglet and Tigger!

"Youth has no age."

Love my team. Hate to lose.

I stared, in the back of my head knowing it was going it, but still believing that Erin and Kelli would save us like they had so many times before. But then I heard the sound. The sound that can be heartbreaking on one end of the field and joyful on the other, unfortunately this time it was the former. Everyone stood and watched, myself included, as the ref blew the whistle and the other team burst out into cheers. But all we could do was watch. Stare in disbelief after 72 minutes of hard play seeing everything slip away from us, just out of our grasp. The statistics all point our way. More shots, more corners, and more time spent in there half. But in the end it didn’t matter. It still got taken away.

I love my team. My girls. My friends. I will always remember you guys no matter what our season ended like. Thanks for an awesome season. It wouldn't be the same next year. <3

Good day

What amazing friends I have. I could never ask for anything better. They all made my day today whether they know it or not. I love them all. So many presents and baked goods. But really it was the smiles and cards that went along with it that made my day. All the cards are now tacked on my wall so the next time I need to know someone cares for me they are there for me to see.

I also love my FH team. Everyone on the team is extremely nice. Playing the team we played tonight (who we beat to go undefeated in the district! Whoot!) made me realize how special and tight are team really is. They were yelling and cursing at each other, and just playing really poorly and getting angry at everyone, including us and their teammate when we would do nothing wrong. Our team is so much better then that. And I think I realized just how special we are. And I think this that someone said pretty much sums it up

"This is a special group of girls. You couldn't ask for anything better."

Other happenings in the game include getting hit hard in the hand about 30 seconds after I went in. It immediately started swelling up and I had a little cut. After the game I was showing it to the team and Coach H comes over and shows Coach D, they send me over to the trainer to get ice. Everyone was so worried, especially P. She sends me back with out a band-aide (it was bleeding pretty bad). On the way back everyone on the team starts singing to me. When Coach H sees I don't have a band-aide she marches on over to get me a band-aide and comes back and helps me put it on. Meanwhile, Coach D is telling me to make sure I ice it real well. I love my team. And it's good to know they care if I get injured.

My parents and brother all went to the game too. Thanks for coming guys, I really appreciate it even if I don't fully show it.

Thanks to my friends(teammates included) and family for letting me have a very special day.

So i'm teching my first event, all by myself on Friday. AHH! I hope i don't die. I'm actually like really stressing out about it. Suddenly learning how much I really don't know. Sure, I know all the technical stuff, but not the stuff before hand, like who people need to talk to to get the piano. And what if I forgot how to operate everything over the summer. Please don't kill me. Please don't kill me. I wish Anna was back/I could ask questions. Ugh. I really don't want to screw up. I hate being wrong more then I hate losing. Speaking of which we won our Field Hockey game last night 2-0. I even got to play the whole game. It's gonna be a good season... As long as I don't die on Friday. I think all the seniors should just not leave.

I wrote this at the end of school (spring chorus show, oh my) , so it's a couple months old, and really rough right now. Linebreaks need a lot of work, but the poem overall means a lot to me. But there are several lines that I can't seem to get right no matter what, but also a couple I absolutely love.

The breeze drifts
in the early summer air.
Stars poke out
as the clouds move in.
I lean back on the bench
and across the street
the lightning bugs dance
their first dance of summer.
I watch,
wishing I could join in.
I let a tear fall.
I am the last one
left at school.
But then,
suddenly,
I am laughing too,
laughing at myself,
the world,
and out of pure exhaustion.
I pause,
and feel the first raindrop.
And then I am up.
Running across the grass.
Singing, laughing, crying,
but all at once.
No one is around to hear
except for the night air.
And for once, I am glad.
I am free.

The grass tickles my feet,
but it only causes me
to jump higher.
I stop thinking
for a minute,
lost in myself.
I collapse in the grass.
Laughing and crying,
again.
Tears race down my face.
Not tears of happiness,
yet I still laugh.
I stare at the clouds
and the raindrops
mix with my tears.

New Seniors?

What happens when someone moves on. They leave or move away. They've taught you a lot. Shown you around. Started letting you see who you really are and giving you an example to live up to. But then they leave. Graduate. It's not your fault, but neither is it theirs. Thats just the way things work.

I don't want new freshman at school this year. I don't want to be a sophomore. The seniors all need to come back. I haven't learned everything I need to from them. These are the people that all year I watched walk among the hallways like they own them. The one's who were always calm cool and collect (except when they found out about colleges). Sure, there will be new seniors this year, but what will they know? They are always juniors in my mind. The class of 2010 had people in it that I respected above all else, and always will. Nothing can change that. I didn't get to learn everything I should have or could have or will from them, but I wish them all well in college or whatever else they may be doing, even if they are leaving me with out completing my lessons from them.

A perfect summer...

What an amazing summer. Spending half days at the barn with my best friend, scattered with meetings of other friends through out. Busy enough, but no overwhelming. Then making the varsity field hockey team. I'm not sure I could ask for more and not feel greedy.

I'll finish this alter mabybe.